Lorde’s essay “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” in Sister Outsider defines the erotic as something deeply human, authentic, and almost spiritual that we all experience. “Another important way in which the erotic connection functions is the open and fearless underlining of my capacity for joy.” She highlights the erotic as something powerful exploratory and draws a firm line between the erotic and pornography, one as a means to authentically discover oneself and the other as a repression of that authenticity in pursuit of just physical sensation. To her, the erotic is not purely a way of connecting with another person through romance, but most importantly a way of connecting with oneself through another person, and not even nescessarily through the act of sex. Something that is often highlighted in Sula’s relationship with Nel, as it is so intimate and interlinked as to transcend the “normal” bounds of friendship. Sula and Nel find themselves the most through each other and are the most important humans to the other even past Sula’s death, despite her betrayal and Nel’s marriage.

Toni Morrison and Lorde share similar views in their writing on the expression of sexuality in women and believe that it should be done freely. This shows most strongly in Sula and her mother, Hannah, and their unconventional relationships with men throughout the novel. Hannah’s sex life is describe early on as pleasant and detached from the conventions of marriage or love, and is never painted in a negative light at any point of the novel. The message sent by this choice is one of encouragement, and follows closely with Lorde’s own views on eroticism. “Seeing her step so easily into the pantry and emerge looking precisely as she did when she entered, only happier, taught Sula that sex was pleasant and frequent, but otherwise unremarkable.” (Morrison, 44). Sula also hammers this point home in showing just how detached sex is for her from genuine attachment to each man she has sex with, and more about the power she feels within herself when undergoing the act, as well as the deep sadness she is only able to explore within herself through sex. It is even shown with Ajax that their lovemaking and her emotional attachment to him is kept separate, because it is the relationship she builds with him through conversation and time that causes her to form an attachment to him, not specifically the sex.

Sula and Hannah’s freedom with their own sexuality earns them the reputations of outcasts among the women of The Bottom for daring to break the status quo. Their experience follows the theme of othering we have come to understand in this course and, like Lorde, calls into the question whether the real reason that society tells us to repress our desires is because they are truly harmful, or because they further the oppression of women. By limiting sex within the bounds of marriage and prostitution by society, women are given stronger incentive to marry and stay loyal to men, as well as to give their body freely to men they do not actually desire. “The fear that we cannot grow beyond whatever distortions we may find within ourselves keeps us docile and loyal. and obedient, externally defined, and leads us to accept many facets of our oppression as women.”(Lorde, 58). When paired with the need for the women of The Bottom to see themselves as better than Sula and Hannah to soothe their insecurity, the judgement of freely expressed sexuality becomes a dangerous and effective tool for the patriarchy.